EDS Keeps Those Doggies Rollin’

These are two of the funniest commercials I’ve seen in a long time.

Priceless line:

“It ain’t an easy job, but when you bring a herd into town, and you ain’t lost a-one of them, ain’t a feeling like it in the world.”

By Marc Librescu

Better Marriage Blanket Filters a Mighty Wind

This is a TV commercial for something called The Better Marriage Blanket. It has a layer of activated charcoal that is supposed to filter out your “flatulence molecules.”

My favorite part of this commercial is where they say: “It makes a great wedding gift or anniversary gift!” I imagine if you gave this as a wedding gift, the bride and groom would cut you out of their lives. If you gave it as an anniversary gift, you’d probably be on the way to divorce court.

By Marc Librescu

The Hamilton Collection Redefines Art

The Hamilton Collection

This might be the worst ad ever for the worst product ever.

According to this ad for The Hamilton Collection, today’s hottest new artist is someone named Margaret Le Van. That sound you hear is the sound of thousands of dead artists rolling over in their graves. Rembrandt, Picasso, Michelangelo, Monet, Manet and Cezanne are all spinning so fast that scientists fear the force it’s creating may change the orbit of the Earth and send it on a death spiral into the sun.

In the copy, we find this line: bolded, italicized and underlined to emphasize its importance:

Plus, she features lifelike eyelashes, a trademark of Ms. Le Can’s art!

If only Picasso had thought to include “lifelike eyelashes” in his paintings — he might have become a real artist!

There’s also a line saying this monstrosity is offered “in a hand-numbered limited edition of 95 casting days.” However, it neglects to say how many pieces were created in a casting day. Maybe some factory in China cranked out 11,000 of these babies a day and there are over a million of these eyesores littering the planet. Who knows?

The ad shows a pink ribbon and states that a portion of the proceeds will be donated to help find a cure for breast cancer but it doesn’t specify what portion. It could be 50 percent. It could be .001 percent. We don’t know.

If you’d like to help find a cure for breast cancer, you can make a donation directly to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. You’ll know how much is going to charity and you won’t have to demonstrate your bad taste in art to your friends.

By Marc Librescu

Soyjoy Does a 180

SoyJoy

When I first wrote about a Soyjoy ad back in 2008, the ad was so bad it made me want to cry and scream and throw things around the room. The second time I posted about the company’s ad, I thought it looked great but was too generic (and I went off on my high-horse about possible problems from eating soy).

This ad nails it. The image merges blueberry, soy and the yin-yang symbol. The headline, along with the image, tells the story:

Whole Soy. Real Blueberries. In Perfect Balance.

There isn’t a load of unnecessary copy for the reader to wade through. It just works.

By Marc Librescu

Johnson Automotive: We Don’t Need No Badgers

This is a series of brilliant commercials produced for Johnson Automotive. They’re hilarious and on point. The commercials cleverly use the badger character to parody car salesmen and let the viewer know that Johnson Automotive doesn’t badger its customers.

The badger is really a puppet that’s being controlled by five operators, who were later digitally removed.

Another winner of the coveted 5 Monkey Award!

Silk Soy Milk Has the Beat

Silk soy milk

Nature never intended cow’s milk to be anything other than food for a baby cow. You drink milk because your parents fed it to you and told you it was healthy. The dairy industry told you it was healthy. You’ve been socialized to believe that milk is healthy.

If you don’t like milk or you believe it’s not healthy, you can drink soy milk.

This ad for Silk Soy Milk couldn’t be better. The message is contained in the image so perfectly that the reader doesn’t need to read a word of copy to understand the message: our product is healthy. As I’ve been saying here, people typically don’t stop to read copy, so advertisers need to get readers’ attention with arresting visuals to make the point.

I award this ad the prestigious 5 Monkeys!

Sun-Maid Gets Surreal

IMG_3430

You’re sitting on a California beach, enjoying the day. The sky is blue with just a hint of wispy clouds. You feel at peace as you listen to the sound of the gentle waves breaking against the shore.

Then you look up and you see her.

You can’t believe your eyes. It’s the Sun-Maid, you think, the girl from the raisin box. But it can’t be. She’s not real.

Yet there she is, and she’s doing yoga, right there on the sand. She’s even wearing the red bonnet. You want to talk to her, maybe take a photo to show to your friends back home.

Suddenly, inexplicably, a paintbrush materializes and paints a streak of red across the sky. The paint forms a shelf and products start to appear—packages of raisins and other dried fruit.

The Sun Maid tries to reach for the fruit but it’s too high. You run toward her.

Your next memory is of opening your eyes in an unfamiliar room. There’s a TV on the wall, near the ceiling. A nurse stands over you with a look of concern on her face.

“Where am I?” you ask.

“You’re in the hospital,” she says.

“How did I get here?”

“I’ll get the doctor.”

As the nurse walks out of the room, you notice she’s wearing a red bonnet.

By Marc Librescu