Charmin Ultra Strong: Enjoying the Go?

Unless you’ve been hibernating, you’ve seen the animated commercials for Charmin Ultra Strong featuring bears and their dingleberries. Are these commercials annoying? Does a bear sh*t in the woods?

To make matters worse, they’ve recently added the line “Enjoy the go!” Enjoy the go? Do they think I’m saying to myself, “Gee, I can’t wait until this afternoon when I can sit down and unwind with a nice long dump?”

Enjoy the go. Picture it — it’s Friday night. You had plans to go out on a hot date, but instead, you call her up and say, “Hey hun, I know we were supposed to go out to dinner tonight, but I think I’m just going to stay in and pinch a loaf.”

Don’t worry. She’ll understand. She knows how much fun doing a deuce is.

Here’s a parody I found on YouTube, followed by one of the actual commercials.

If you want to find out more about enjoying your go, you’ll enjoy going to Charmin’s website.

By Marc Librescu


3 responses to “Charmin Ultra Strong: Enjoying the Go?

  1. Oh man, this had me laughing the whole way through. Your Friday night story would make a GREAT parody on some comedy show.

    Do you have any interest in doing commentary on or analysis of other media, like movies? You would be great at it.

    • Thanks. I wrote that imagining I was doing a stand-up routine. With stand-up, you either get a laugh or you don’t. With the written word, you don’t know if what you’ve written is funny or not unless someone tells you. This blog, for whatever reason, doesn’t get many comments from readers.

      My tolerance for bad movies is so low that I’d never be able to do movie reviews. My motto is that life is to short to waste it watching bad movies. The corollary to that is that 90% of all movies are bad movies. This is really just a restating of Sturgeon’s Law, which states that “Ninety percent of everything is crud.”

      So, as far as movie reviews, I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from walking out of the theater halfway into the movie, and invariably, my review would read something like: “The first half of this movie was shite, and I’m pretty sure the second half was shite, except that I found the need to flee the the theater after the first 45 minutes, so I can’t really tell you anything about the ending,” Not very satisfying, you’d have to admit.

      I’m working on doing some cartooning right now. That combines writing and humor and doesn’t require me to sit through two hours of Sylvester Stallone leading a group of geriatric mercenaries on a mission that can only be completed by old people with millions of dollars of cosmetic surgery.

  2. Pingback: A Load of Crap: Charmin’s Go Nation « Francis Anderson