The Hamilton Collection Redefines Art

The Hamilton Collection

This might be the worst ad ever for the worst product ever.

According to this ad for The Hamilton Collection, today’s hottest new artist is someone named Margaret Le Van. That sound you hear is the sound of thousands of dead artists rolling over in their graves. Rembrandt, Picasso, Michelangelo, Monet, Manet and Cezanne are all spinning so fast that scientists fear the force it’s creating may change the orbit of the Earth and send it on a death spiral into the sun.

In the copy, we find this line: bolded, italicized and underlined to emphasize its importance:

Plus, she features lifelike eyelashes, a trademark of Ms. Le Can’s art!

If only Picasso had thought to include “lifelike eyelashes” in his paintings — he might have become a real artist!

There’s also a line saying this monstrosity is offered “in a hand-numbered limited edition of 95 casting days.” However, it neglects to say how many pieces were created in a casting day. Maybe some factory in China cranked out 11,000 of these babies a day and there are over a million of these eyesores littering the planet. Who knows?

The ad shows a pink ribbon and states that a portion of the proceeds will be donated to help find a cure for breast cancer but it doesn’t specify what portion. It could be 50 percent. It could be .001 percent. We don’t know.

If you’d like to help find a cure for breast cancer, you can make a donation directly to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. You’ll know how much is going to charity and you won’t have to demonstrate your bad taste in art to your friends.

By Marc Librescu

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