Mott’s Apple Juice: What’s Red And Smooth And Wrinkle-Free?

Mott's ad

A friend recently asked, “Which celebrity do you associate most with apples?” I immediately answered, “Marcia Cross.” I mean, it’s a no-brainer. Marcia has red hair. Apples are red. Marcia’s face is smooth and wrinkle-free. Apples are smooth and wrinkle-free. Marcia grows on a tree and is picked by farm workers. Apples…

So we know why Mott’s picked Marcia to be in this ad. What we don’t know is who are these two kids? Marcia has two-year old twin girls and these kids aren’t them. Like Laminites, those strange people who show up in the photo section of brand-new wallets and picture frames, these kids are fake. Well, they’re real kids who are out there somewhere with their not-Marcia Cross mom and their not-Marcia Cross’s husband dad. But they’re not her kids, despite what this ad would like you to believe.

In case you are one of those skeptics who need proof, here are Marcia’s real kids. You’ll notice that neither of her twin girls are a little boy.

Marcia Cross and her kids.

So there’s Marcia, with her fake kids, all dressed in the colors of apples: red, yellow, and green. Even the wall in the background is yellow and green. And all the yellow and green are the same  shades of yellow and green in the Mott’s logo. Pretty clever. (As a matter of fact, the same colors come up in the photo of Marcia and her real kids—just what is going on?)

I don’t know whether  these people are human logos, if their hair is really made of apples, or whether it’s wrong to crave apple juice after looking at Marcia Cross’s hair. These are just too many existential questions for me to ponder before lunch.

By Marc Librescu


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