The Return of Paul, the McDonald’s Menunaire

Hi everybody. It’s me again, Paul, the original Dollar Menunaire. I’m back.

I pretty much live in the moment, kind of like a dog. My mom says I ain’t right in the head. One time, she got real mad at me and said, “Paul, you are just plain stupid.” Later that day, she apologized…to stupid people.

I once signed up for a credit card to score a T-shirt, but they didn’t give me the card because I don’t have any credit, seeing as I don’t work and I live in my parents’ house. I offered to trade my friend Stephan for a T-shirt but they told me to go get lost. So I had to drive for about an hour because I know this town too well to get lost here.

But let me get back to what I was talking about: MCDONALD’S. They have a dollar menu. You can get all kinds of food for a dollar. If you don’t have a dollar, you can do what I do and steal a dollar from the homeless people who sleep over at the bus station.

I don’t know what’s in McDonald’s food. Frankie says he heard worms once, but I say no way, because worms would be too hard to catch. And Frankie does meth, so he thinks everything’s made out of worms.

Frankie’s crazy. It’s all quality eats.

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